In the week end the Sandbrooks and went to jocks hut.It was for Dylan's birthday it was so fun we went up there on the 4 wheeler s it was a little bit scary when we were right on the edge.it was a really good view when we were up at the top it was amazing I couldn't believe when we were ready jock took us for a shoot we left at 4;30 we walked down a little bit of them track and then we adventured in the bush it was sliprey and a down hill James and I was just slipping everywhere and I keeped on falling in the stinging needle bush it really hurt. my hands were really buzzy dark was staring to fall but then we saw a deer it was a 4 pointer it had a stuffed up antler it was like a hook.Jock with his 270 bang he got it I couldn't believe it so we went over to it and it was in a muddy dam
Great descriptions Tyler .It sounded very exciting, I really wanted to read on and see what happened. Remember names start with capital letters. A couple of spellings you could fix :- Kept slippery and put a space after the fullstops.
ReplyDeleteI really liked the description you used to describe everything.
ReplyDeleteNext time you could ad a bit more detail about what happened.
And you need to fix up some of the spelling.
But it kept me interested !!! :)
From Hannah
Hi It's Brooke
ReplyDeleteWow Tyler what a great story its amazing. You used lots of description but lost it a but at the end.
It was exciting it kept me reading sounded like Dylan had a good b'day is there anymore?